An issue that comes up repeatedly with my clients is the difficulty of managing people. There are so many layers to this issue I just want to touch on a couple of points. Once our corporate culture allowed people to address each other by their first names instead of by Mr. and Mrs/Ms. so and so, corporate "professionalism" began its decay. Many people do not even remember a time when employees address their bosses by Mr. or Ms., but it was the expected behavior---watch Mad Men on T.V. to see how it used to be. Why I say this is complex to explain, but suffice it to say once there is no separation between our business self and our casual self then the psychology we present when we come to work is not different than our home/personal psychology. This loss of boundary, exemplified by using first names between workers, means there is no filter between how I treat/react to my friends and how I treat/react to my boss/client (remember we also addressed our clients as Mr. or Ms. too). This means there is no environmental filter for our worst or most regressive behaviors. "Leave your personal issues at home" was the mantra in our corporate past. It was not that this was always possible to have done in reality, it just meant there was an expectation to put work/client first and leave personal issues/needs/quirks at home. That expectation alone gave at least a filter for much of the dysfunctional, aggressive or regressive behaviors we deal with these days in co-workers on a daily basis. It is HARD out there for managers precisely because there is no expectation of a higher level of psychological operation than what one does when they are at home with friends.
So where does that leave us? That means we are now as managers having to deal more readily with every unaddressed childhood psychological pattern an employee has to offer because as a manager, you are now the unconscious, parental projection screen.
Sound fun? It ain't. Let me add here this also goes both ways because managers are throwing their own unresolved authority material onto their employees also---but that is another article.
Now you see why blending psychology/counseling and business will soon be no longer a luxury, but an imperative.
It's just HARD out there!
(For a deeper explanation please see Fundamental Eight in my book)
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2 comments:
This is so true. I just thought it was generational differences regarding entitlement issue...which I'm sure is the case with some young employees. The idea that we are so 'familiar' in the office that we let our guard down and let our dysfunctions out never occured to me.
Yea, Mad Men shows the cultural difference very well. It is still a men's club, but there is a decorum expected even between the females
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