Can You Keep a Secret?

I once had the chance to know a ninety-year old mystic/healer who would occasionally work on me doing whatever she felt I needed. She was usually rather gruff in demeanor, but for some reason was sometimes softer with me than with others, which I wore like a badge of honor. One time before she started a session she looked at me and said, "You can keep a secret...yes, yes, you can. If someone told you a secret you could keep it couldn't you?" It was such a strange opening comment that I didn't know what to say as it didn't really ask for a response. That was twenty-two years ago and for some reason it has haunted me ever since. Yes, people have told me many secrets, and yes, I kept them, but for some reason I am periodically reminded of her comment. Why did she say that to me when she did? I kept thinking she was foretelling some big secret I would be told, but that was twenty-two years ago and no "big" secret.

So I thought recently, what kind of person keeps a secret and is it anything special? Do some people have a hard time keeping secrets while others do not? I was reminded of a "Seinfeld" episode about George's so called "vault" for secrets that everyone knew the combination to. I realized that the truth was that most people cannot keep secrets. Think about it. How many times have you told a friend a secret that got out anyway and the person said something to the effect of, "Well, I just told so and so, and they must have told..." So being able to keep a secret is rare. Why is that?

The answer relates back to Fundamental Four (power dynamics). Put simply: Knowing a secret carries within it a sense of power over others who do not know that secret, but one can only be recognized as having that power by telling someone else who does not know that secret. So only the most powerful/confident/secure people can keep secrets because they won't feel the need to advertise to others their newly acquired power by telling someone their secret. Since it is probably safe to say that we all have told secrets to others even when we swore we would not, it is interesting to track how strong your vault is these days. As teenagers, we are all probably at our worst because the power drive is at its highest during those years, but where are we these days?

Have you also noticed that the size of the secret matters? How it is easier to keep secret that Jane lies about her age, but someone having a secret affair is just too tasty to keep? Or that sometimes the secret is sooo juicy that you just have to tell someone while others are no big deal? So while the ability to keep a secret gives an insight into the psychology of a person, what about a city? Think about Hollywood or Washington and those places' lack of ability to keep secrets. What does that say about the collective esteem of the people there and their relationship to Power? Is it that they are genuinely more power hungry than other people or is it that they have the juiciest gossip that mere mortals cannot possibly sit on?

So keeping or telling secrets is all about Power. Do I have enough esteem to keep a secret or do I have to flaunt my power for others to see? Who do you know that can keep a secret? Are you sure? How about a really BIG one, one that just ACHES to be told? Can you keep a secret? How big of one? For how long?

I was once told I could keep a secret....am I up to the task?